I'm back to the summaries! I wish I could've picked up on this amazing season before but its never too late, unless it's after the finale. Let me just clue you in: My faves are Brooke White, David Cook, Michael Johns. My so-so-depends-on-the-performance faves: David Archuleta, Syesha Mercado, Jason Castro, Carly Smithson. My least fave: Kristy Lee Cook.
I totally guessed it. I told my girlfriend that Ramiele Malubay and Kristy Lee Cook would totally be in the bottom two. But seriously Brooke White??? Come on America! But as Ryan Seacrest told Lipgloss McCrinklenose that her journey was over, and she burst into uncontrollable sobs, it all made me feel ever so slightly sad. Poor girl. Seconds later, of course, I remembered the sage words of the philosopher Simon Cowell concerning this week's bottom three — "I think this is absolutely right" — and promptly got over it. Ramiele most certainly deserved to go home this week.
It was pretty clear the contestant herself was ready for her big exit. Why else would she show up to the results show in the season's most unspeakable outfit, a sloppy oversize T-shirt paired with a minuscule black vest, black leggings, and tall brown boots? I mean, why not just show up in plaid flannel pajama bottoms and a crumpled Hanes Her Way sports bra? People need to know how to dress if they want to impress America. Let's be real. It's all how look in that business. I'm looking at you Carly, whom Simon correctly critisized on Tuesday. This isn't just America's Best Vocalist. Like it or not, presentation counts.
Anyhow, Ramiele's reign of underwhelming song choices and age-inappropriate baby talk is over, and since I've been beating up on her for the last seven weeks, I'm going to take this moment to be kind and simply "celebrate her home," whatever the hell that means. After all, she already had to endure a harsh insult disguised as a compliment from none other than Paula: "I thought Ramiele had a good night, for Ramiele." Ouch!
And now, three things that irk me:
1. Ruben Studdard's Idol exit song: Honestly, every time it starts playing, I go into such a deep state of nothingness that I'm wondering if it's some kind of alien mind trick, the better to hypnotize Idol viewers while Martian scientists swoop in and perform some kind of dubious collective experiment on an unsuspecting nation. This is definately no "Bad Day" or "Home".
2. The Idol stylists: Who dresses Ramiele? What's up with Michael Johns' violet cravat, David Archuleta's array of neutral jackets with mini popped collars, and Syesha's often unfortunate hair choices. Isn't there a team of professionals that is supposed to be helping these contestants?
3. And finally, the Idol choreographers. I am 99 percent certain I saw David Cook and Ramiele bump butts during the group performance of "9 to 5." And the folks at 19 Entertainment expect these kids to go out in the world six months from now and begin credible careers as recording artists? Sure. Those things need to go. It looks awkward.
Anyhow, back to tonight's bottom three. As for the "Kristy's Seat" sign trotted out by Ms. Cook, well, I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. On one hand, I'll admit it gave me a chuckle, seeing a contestant gamely embrace her negative critiques and complete underdog status, but then again, there was maybe just a whiff of irritation in Kristy Lee's demeanor, an "I don't understand how the judges/America don't think of me as a front-runner, but I guess it's just my lot in life, y'all!" The whole moment was pretty much a wash for me.
And as for Brooke's lack of voter support for her performance of "Jolene," while I was thrilled to see her sent back to the safety couches first tonight and upset she was in the position to begin with, I couldn't argue with those of you who thought she deserved to get a little scare this week.
So next week we got "Idol Gives Back" week? Along with a special elimination ep on Thursday.
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