Welcome back to Wisteria Lane! Where the morals are good and strong and the friendships are enduring. Well, at least according to what Alma Hodge offered to Edie as her first impressions of her new hood. Finally the girls are back after a long hiatus. The last update was Novembe 27th! Anyway, who is else loves the addition of Alma to the show? She is so sweet but in a creepy, psychotic kind of way.
I loved the way Alma provided the voice-over to the closing shots last night instead of Mary Alice — Alma's ironic naïveté showed how sneaky she can be, and offered some relief from the singsong platitudes we usually get in Mary Alice's wrap-ups. And in another switcheroo, we learned that Alma left Orson not because he was a control freak about hand towels and she felt trapped but because she realized he was having an affair and she desperately wanted to matter to him. I liked that this episode began exactly as the season premiere did, but with a different context due to all we've observed about Orson's character since then.
Alma arrived just in time to heighten the level of Bree and Susan's fight from "tense" to "Susan's gonna get her house burned down again." Susan decided to "drop a dime" on Orson by informing Detective Ridley about his affair with Monique. I guess ratting Orson out wasn't too cool of Susan. But neither was throwing a fancy dinner party with the sole intention of humiliating a good friend, Bree. And Susan's info was kind of essential to the case. In the end, Bree threw Susan out of her house and declared their friendship over.
Susan and Bree's daughters will get into their own feud as soon as Julie finds out that Danielle, a.k.a. Little Miss Van De Tramp has been embracing her inner ho-ness by shacking up with the increasingly hot Austin. I should have guessed this twist based purely on how odd it was for Danielle to say anything wise or worthwhile ("Hold on to your virginity" and so on) in that fabulous kids-only scene. How priceless was Andrew telling the girls that Austin is definately straight, especially after 3 beers. Julie did end up losing it to Austin, because apparently there are no other possible stepping-stones between kissing and intercourse, and all of this must be done outdoors.
Speaking of misbehaving daughters and ice cream, Kayla, the latest addition to Lynette's brood, is a total brat. Luckily for her, she'll fit right in with the rest of the kids. But poor Lynette. We all know she doesn't want any of her children. How much more can she take? Lynette and Kayla's restaurant scene was cringe-worthy at nearly every moment, very well played. And that thing with the doll? Tears, I tell you. Kayla does win points for creativity, though. Stuffing chili into a doll's arm sockets is pretty advanced. What Kayla did was a blatant personal attack.
I really liked what the writers did with Gaby's new boyfriend's character, Bill. The guy is very good looking although very boring. The point made last night was that it was impossible to like the two of them together. A picnic, a documentary film, and charity? Oh hell to the no! Now that Gaby and Carlos finally aren't screaming and throwing things at each other all the time, it's easier to see how their romance must have begun in the first place. They flirt deliciously, and they seem to just effortlessly get each other. Carlos' ability to name four types of flowers — let alone what they'd mean to Gaby — was completely awwww-worthy. I'm sure these two will get back together at some point, but right now they make excellent pals.
So, what did you think? Will Mike and Paul Young (!) start their own prison gang? Is there any way Andrew and I can become friends immediately? Where was Mama Hodge this week? And what really happened to Monique Pollier?
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