I didn't think it was going to be possible, but crazier things happened during tonight's episode of American Idol than Randy's BeDazzled-skull-sleeved shirt and Paula's rodeo monkey garb. Chris Richardson gave a terrific performance. LaKisha Jones put Melinda Doolittle on notice. Sanjaya Malakar did not make me feel the rage. Gina Glocksen squandered the bulk of her Gwen Stefani-week momentum. And Blake Lewis might've gotten himself in a spot of trouble.
Who knew Tony Bennett night would be packed with so much drama?
So let's start with Chris. He showed vast improvement this week over the last two. He chose Duke Ellington's swingin' "Don't Get Around Much Anymore." He nailed it and, as the judges pointed out, Chris managed to do something that's been very rare on the Idol stage this season: He added unexpected spice to a beloved standard without defiling its classic recipe. Maybe Chris was born to play the role of hipster with a broken heart, but suddenly, his vocal runs made perfect sense, his line readings were infused with emotion, even his dance moves were fly.
Chris' surge in momentum this week (combined with last week's not bad "Don't Speak") could present a problem for this season's other blond-haired hipster heartthrob. Indeed, Blake Lewis's in-tune but disappointingly safe cover of "Mack the Knife" was the kind of performance that isn't good enough to inspire viewers to vote but also isn't bad enough to make fans worry that their favorite is in danger. Maybe Blake believed Simon's assessment last week that he's the front-runner on the men's side, but I thought the cranky Brit's remark about Blake scoring a "7 out of 10" this week was far more telling.
If I'm right that Chris and Blake are appealing to some of the same voters, LaKisha and Melinda are likely in a two-way battle of their own as well. And while the judges were more effusive tonight in their praise of Mindy Doo's "I Got Rhythm," I actually preferred Kiki's "Stormy Weather." Now, I'm not saying Melinda hit a single bad note during her performance. It's that I want an Idol whose performances are throbbing with joy and pain and life experience, who's not afraid to get ugly, who makes me believe that she's got rhythm, music, and her man — and that she could not ask for anything more. The crazy thing is, Melinda proved capable of exactly that with her semifinal takes on "My Funny Valentine" and "I'm a Woman," but her shtick has become too push-button, too bloodless these last few weeks.
LaKisha, on the other hand, came out kicking and growling tonight on "Stormy Weather," like a woman who was smack in the middle of living the line "everything I have is gone" — her man, her fortune, and, yeah, her competitive momentum on season 6 of Idol. Were there a couple wonky lower-register notes? Sure. Did she ignore Tony Bennett's advice to drop that "ain't no sunshine when he's gone" tag at the end (probably because she couldn't manage to hold that big note for as long as he wanted)? Okay, yeah. Did any of it detract from the raw emotional power of the performance? Not one bit.
Oh, and now my favorite Haley Scarnato. I hardly remember what you sang but I remember that gam-tastic green sequin number you rocked with that dangerously plunging neckline that ran the risk of an FCC violation. Now that was hot! Oh, and the performance was really good too. I'm sure it might just carry you to the top eight on Wednesday. Also, Haley, I have to say, the bile-soaked look-daggers you shoot at Paula every week when she patronizingly comments on your good looks? They make me love you even more. Did anyone else think that Paula and Randy were a little bitchy with their critiques, or lack thereof?
Anyway, I doubt Haley will end up in the bottom three this week, given the big steps backward taken by Gina Glocksen and Phil Stacey. To be fair, Randy was correct that Gina displayed nice vocal control on her rendition of "Smile," but if I pulled two perfect pieces of Wonder Bread out of my fridge and put them on a plate, would you consider that an acceptable lunchtime option? In other words, where was the meat, the condiments, the chipotle aioli? Or any kind of flavor at all? It sure didn't help that her poofy hair and ill-fitting black dress made her look like Megan Mullally dressed up like Vampira for Halloween.
And while we're talking about scary characters, was I the only one who kept imagining Phil standing outside a stranger's bedroom window with a flashlight shining up his face as he delivered a particularly moribund "Night and Day"? I mean, I know the song is all about longing and torment, but there's a difference between bringing the heartache and making me want to take out a restraining order. Why didn't this season's most underrated vocalist listen to Tony Bennett's advice and put a little bit of swing into it? Alas, I fear the lines "This torment won't be through/Till you let me spend my life making love to you" will not be tolerated by viewers — not the way Phil sang it anyway.
Thank heavens there was Jordin Sparks' "On a Clear Day (You Can See Forever)" to return the telecast to its regularly scheduled happiness. Yay, Jordin! This song wasn't quite as emotionally devastating as her "I (Who Have Nothing)," but clearly, she has a knack for tunes with big notes. Did anyone hear that astonishingly clear and powerful one she used to close tonight's number? It was phenomenal.
I've totally given up when it comes to Sanjaya, because deep in my heart I know that this too shall pass. I just hope he at least ends up bottom three. We'll see tonight.
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