A Betty Shocker

Holy Alexis Arquette! Just when I thought Ugly Betty couldn't take its level of camp any higher or come up with a cleverer pop-culture allusion, the smart producers pull out a twist on the here-and-now that's absolutely perfect.

Alex Meade, Bradford's son and Daniel's brother, isn't really dead, and — in the buxom image and name of the most fabulous of the Arquette family — he's now a she! Or she's a he underneath there somewhere. Or whatever. Regardless, the beloved, often-mentioned, and presumed-dead son is the mysterious woman who's been shrouded in darkness, covered in gauzy wraps, and plotting with Willy to take over Meade Publications (and, we can only hope, the world!). Also, in a move that only further cements UB fabulosity, Alexis is played by none other than Rebecca Romijn! The sexiest X-Men character ever is playing a purportedly dead man turned woman. Get all that? Good!

Seriously, twists like this — more knotted and tasty than those pretzels Amanda would like Betty to be selling from her new desk cart — are what make this show shine. Further proof of the show's blinding luster? Well, as you no doubt know, the frothy comedy took home two Golden Globes. First, deservedly, for Best Comedy and, second, for the best, most real heroine on television, America Ferrera! That giddy, breathy speech of hers? Don't get me started again.

After last week's episode of disastrous breakups, this week was all about building up some of my favorite relationships on the show — Daniel and Betty, Amanda and Marc, the shrouded gal and Wilhelmina. Look at Daniel and Betty. After they grew apart a bit because of Sofia, how does this pair mend? By singing Sonny and Cher's "I Got You Babe" in a Brooklyn pizzeria! Priceless — and the sort of totally ridiculous moment this show can pull off without seeming silly. "It's half off if you sing!" Betty told Daniel as she pulled him up to the stage. He yelped back, "Yeah, but I'm rich!"

Although she did botch his expense report a couple weeks back, hasn't she figured out the luxuries of the corporate culture? You don't need half off a pizzeria dinner! But, then again, that ingenuousness is exactly what makes Betty's sweetness so pure and endearing. And what about when Amanda opened "Page Six" and saw Betty and Daniel in there together? Was anyone else wishing that the paparazzi would have snapped a shot or two of them karaokeing instead? Anyway, how fabulous was it that Betty's full name was in the headline? Anyway, I loved the sweet moment they had while overlooking the city. Could this perhaps be a preliminary look to a future storyline? In the original Colombian show, Betty La Fea, Betty falls for Daniel (Armando in the original) and ultimately he does too. (Although he does under difficult circumstances too long and complicated to get into here, but if you want to know, email me and I'll tell you.) I think it would be cool if they do that somewhere down the line.

In another unconsummated workplace relationship, Marc really seems to care about having Amanda around at Mode. I guess he just needs someone else to be his assistant-level partner in crime. I'm not complaining — some of the best scenes are when these two get together, like their exchange about pushing Betty's cart — and Daniel — out the window or when Marc inspired Amanda to ruin Daniel's date with Gisele. When Marc lobbied for her as he and Wilhelmina decided who was in or out, Heidi Klum-on-Project Runway-style, the icy creative director comically patronized him with "You're going miss your little beard? How cute." (BTW, loved the Star Wars-like secret in-or-out wall that spun around. Totally normal with someone like Willy.) Amanda definitely isn't Marc's beard (he's about as closeted as Elton John), but his determination to save her was touching. I was saddened by Amanda's decision to defect to Willy's dark side after being a Daniel supporter for so long, but truly, she'd only ever really fit in where wickedness reigns. Right? Her tiny pores ooze with evil!

Back in the world of good — a.k.a. the Suarez home in Queens — Hilda was whipping her staff into shape while they put together cupcakes. Herbalux went under, so Hilda was out of business and needed a new job. But cupcakes? Really? As a New Yorker, I can say that cupcakes — a sugary trend that came and went a few years ago — are so cliché! Anyway, the story line did provide us with a little bit of snaptastic Justin, which is never a bad thing. Justin's best lines of the night: 1. "Yeah, Betty, I miss the swag," while lamenting that Betty no longer works at Mode. 2. "Maybe Oprah can adopt us?" Justin Winfrey does have a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

And finally, Christina. Poor, poor Christina. Like Amanda, she defected to the dark side. Seduced by fashion. Used by Wilhelmina. Ranking at the top with Betty on the Pure Points scoreboard until now, she fell far this week. But who can blame her? She just wants to be chosen as one of Mode's top designers to watch, an honor that would promote her from "seamstress." But maybe, like Betty when she almost accepted the huge check from she-devil Willy for her father's lawyer fees, she'll have a change of heart next episode. In her defense, Christina can't know who she'll be hurting by taking that packet of incriminating evidence to the police — sadly, it's all the people who are truly her friends now.

Now a special today, the best zingers:

· Marc: "This bum don't slum." Wilhelmina: "That's not what I've heard," possibly in reference to the comment Betty made about Dudecruise.com last week.

· Fashion TV correspondent Kathy Griffin (such on-point casting!) on Daniel: "Rumor has it, he's in Brazil, licking his wounds — and anything else that walks by."

· Betty to Daniel: "I don't know if you know this, but the space underneath your desk is very good for hiding in the fetal position. I can stand guard if you want to give it a try." And, while trying to persuade Daniel to go to a swimsuit-model casting session (in a singsongy voice): "Big boobs!"

· Amanda to Betty, on her new desk cart: "Ooh, it matches your muumuu. Don't you just love?...You can sell pretzels from it during your break." And later, Betty to Amanda: "What did you do with my cart? Did you put it in the men's room again?"

· Marc, trying to explain to Amanda the meaning of Wilhelmina's in-and-out board: "These are the people who are staying, and these are the people who get the Jimmy Choo. The boot. Gone. Later, skater."

· Amanda on Daniel: "He's asking Betty for dating advice. That's like asking Britney Spears for parenting tips." I object to this but it was hilarious.

· Marc: "You have to prove your loyalty to the Queen." Amanda: "You?"' (Marc put this one over the top by responding with a cheesy grin of gratitude at the thought of being referred to as the Queen.)

So, it looks like next week is a repeat and we have to wait to see how Alexis/Alex returns. I really can't wait.