The top three finishers of American Idol's sixth season may be something of a foregone conclusion, but that doesn't mean the next six weeks — heck, the next 24 hours — will be void of suspense. There are many lingering quesions such as: Could Phil Stacey actually make the final four? Have I heard and seen the last of LaKisha Jones' growl-grimace combo? Did Chris Richardson pull an unseemly vote-getting ploy tonight, or am I just a horribly cynical human being? How does Sanjaya Malakar get his hair to do the things it does?
That sure is a big mound of uncertainty for one brain to process. Then again, at least I don't have to spend much time worrying about the fates of Jordin Sparks, Melinda Doolittle, and Blake Lewis, all of whom seem guaranteed to sail into the top six on Wednesday and, barring any odd misfires, ought to be with us well into May. I can also rest easy with those contestants as the top trio. But who's going to win? All of us know that's a brutally tough question. Honestly, I'd have to go with Jordin. Apparently, Simon's attention was elsewhere during Jordin's front-runner-worthy renditions of "I (Who Have Nothing)" and "Heartbreaker" in earlier rounds, seeing as he told her tonight's cover of "A Broken Wing" was the first time he could imagine her winning the whole thing. Her incredible final solidified his declaration.
As for Melinda, Jordin's main foe in the battle of the big voices, I'll give her props for her choice of Julie Reeves' kicky "Trouble Is a Woman," a song I've never before anywhere. Thankfully, I don't have to feel totally dumb, since McBride, tonight's sweet but not terribly insightful mentor, wasn't familiar with it either. How nice to hear Melinda, who sported appropriately youthful hair and clothes, choose a contemporary number and, as Simon noted, get back in touch with the inner Tina Turner who's been dormant since her semifinal rendition of "I'm a Woman." Better still, Melinda kept alive her extraordinary Idol streak: Nine live performances, and not a single note out of tune.
That's more than I can say for Blake, who seemed to be traveling along the border of Sharpsville on an otherwise pretty good rendition of "When the Stars Go Blue." No doubt, Paula was right that the guy's got "the whole package" — the charisma and all the other "isms," — and he never fails to select a song that's at once contemporary, appropriate for his vocal range, and consistent with the week's theme. Which leaves me torn: Do I root him as the contestant most likely to make a CD I'd actually want to purchase, or root against him, whose best vocal performance is only a B+? Thankfully, I've got a few more weeks to decide.
Speaking of a few more weeks, Phil Stacey may have just bought himself at least one more with an enjoyable rendition of Keith Urban's "Where the Blacktop Ends." Mind you, I wasn't as taken with the number as the judges — especially the way Phil drifted aimlessly through the audience, doling out hugs to friends as if he were doing the closing number at a local roadhouse bar — but then again, he didn't exactly benefit from some bizarre camera angles, including an extended shot of him from behind while he sang on the platform between the judges and the audience. Also, if you'll allow me a momentary tangent: How is it that Randy Jackson, a man who is pretty much paid to do nothing but ineloquently critique the contestants' weekly performances, has only just this moment realized that Phil is most likely to make his mark in country music?
Phil's upward momentum leaves me thinking this week's bottom three will (rightfully) consist of LaKisha Jones, Chris Richardson, and Sanjaya Malakar. Oh Kiki! "Jesus Take the Wheel"? Seriously? Maybe you should have asked Jesus to take over the song-selection process for you. Also, just a guess: Jesus would like to see you smile. You're not digging a ditch, girlfriend — you're supposedly doing what you love to do! But all kidding aside, while I initially grinned at LaKisha's chutzpah in selecting a massive hit single by one of the show's most successful alumni, the minute she reached the chorus, it was pretty clear the car was screeching off the embankment — and I do mean screeching. And sharp. And lethargic. I was feeling a little disappointed with LaKisha's performance, but only because it's pretty clear my early favorite will be lucky to make it into the top five.
Not to say that she didn't manage to outperform Sanjaya and Chris. Despite Ryan Seacrest's ridiculous objections, I thought Simon was being rather gentle when he described the increasingly (and annoyingly) self-aware teenage crooner's "Something to Talk About" as "utterly horrendous." Indeed, the last note of nearly every one of Sanjaya's lines evaporated like water on a frying pan — only there was nothing remotely hot about his interminable, listless performance, which lagged behind the beat, contained scads of flat notes, and worst of all, showcased the teenage crooner's attempts at riffing on the beloved Bonnie Raitt hit. The potential good news is — and maybe it's just wishful thinking — Sanjaya was so joyless tonight that I believe he'll be going home on Wednesday.
Then again, we could just as easily be bidding adieu to Chris, whose rendition of Rascal Flatts' "Mayberry" was an exercise in utter discord. His vocals seemed to be completely at odds with the fiddle player and the backup singers. And the "na-na, na-na"s, embarrassingly, disappeared into nada. Chris should have taken Simon's stinging critique in stride, but his snide retort — "Nasally's a form of singing; I don't know if you knew that or not" — was both obnoxious and laughable. I mean, the cats that occasionally mix it up in the alley behind my house are engaging in a form of singing, too, Chris, but that doesn't mean anyone wants to hear it.
Even more troubling, though, was Chris's abrupt change of subject from mouthing off to Simon to extending his thoughts and prayers to the victims of the Virginia Tech shootings. Mind you, I'm not saying his remarks weren't sincere, but the timing felt way, way off. By sniping at Simon first, realizing he was in a losing battle, then turning the subject to an unspeakable national tragedy, Chris created the season's most uncomfortable moment. And seeing that Sanjaya's had nine live performances to date, that's a tremendously unfortunate accomplishment. I think that's why Simon rolled his eyes at that, because he knew Chris was just using it to get votes.
So let's see if I'm right tonight. I've been doing pretty well so far.
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