Sweet Charity

So last night we were treated to the heaily hyped "Idol Gives Back" — a lengthy mash-up of big-name musical performances, random A-list cameos, devastating scenes of global poverty, and well-intentioned pleas for viewer generosity. Oh, and as an afterthought, the pesky little business of advancing the plotline of America's biggest, most addictive reality competition. Or, rather, not advancing it.

Indeed, in the spirit of charity, the show spared all six remaining contestants for an additional week — but with the catch that the current week's vote tally will be combined with next week's and will result in the ouster of two singers during the May 2 episode. Ryan Seacrest made it screamingly obvious that was indeed what the show had in store by repeatedly alluding to the "most shocking result in our history" throughout tonight's telecast. Which isn't to say my heart didn't stop beating for those few seconds after Ryan announced Chris Richardson's safety, causing Jordin Sparks to break into tears.

I'm sure the show pushed the whole country's buttons with footage of poor kids from the U.S. and Africa. Many of them got to me but one I remember in particular was the one from Africa, involving a 12-year-old orphan and his struggle to support himself and his 7-year-old sister. It was so heartbreaking seeing where they lived and watching his tears stroll down his face. Also, when was the last time any program with even half the size of Idol's audience forced its viewers to confront issues like illiteracy in rural Kentucky, urban violence in Los Angeles, and the harrowing crises of AIDS and malaria in Africa? Even yours truly dialed the oft mention phone number and made a contribution.

And while the show's performance elements felt a little jumbled, it's the right of any telethon to run wild with a "something for everyone" vibe that favors schmaltz and sincerity. The best one had to be Celine Dion's duet with a hologram Elvis. I kept asking myself, "How did they do that?" We also had Quincy Jones provide his anthem "Time to Care" which was also sincere if schmaltzy.

However, I found Annie Lennox's take on "Bridge Over Troubled Water" a little boring. But, Kelly Clarkson's Jeff Beck-assisted "Up to the Mountain" was awesome, as was Earth, Wind & Fire's lively medley. Plus, that kid with the missing teeth in the front row of the African Children's Chorus (accompanying Josh Groban on "You Raise Me Up"), was so adorable! I loved that performance. The best cover goes to Carrie Underwood with "I'll Stand by You." I'll be downloading that one tonight.

Even more surprisingly, most of the show's comedy bits were at least somewhat successful (even though the previously announced appearance by "Borat" never happened). I'm not a huge Jack Black fan, but I got more than a few laughs watching him perform "Kiss From a Rose" for the judges, demand "some of that sweet love"' from Paula, then get a last-minute show of support from Seal. Ben Stiller's pledge-or-I'll-keep-singing cover of the Little River Band's "Reminiscing" may have lasted too long, but I laughed when he inserted that "Blake Lewis" riff in the middle. And Lisa Simpson's Paula Abdul imitation in the animated spoof on Idol's auditions was priceless as was the whole Simpsons bit, naturally.

Even the star-studded lip-synch to "Stayin' Alive" held my attention, if only by prompting the following outbursts: Hey, Ross and Phoebe! Damn, Goldie Hawn looks great! Hugh Laurie has an accent! And, hey, there's the queen Helen Mirren!

So overall, I thought the show as a huge success. I hope they do something similar next season. But now, our attention goes to next week where two finalists will get the boot, and I'm very nervous.