Double Trouble

So not an exceptional results show, but between Seacrest and Madonna and her Malawian orphans, plenty of good fodder. Let's start with Ryan's false promise of "no filler," followed by the most awkward brow raise ever. And, in the highlight reel from the previous night, Simon's quotable quote concerning Jordin's look: It was "like something out of the Addams Family." He was also correct in saying her performance this week was "shrieking," but Jordin Sparks is not going to make a rock & roll album once signed with a label, so her abilities in this genre are irrelevant.

Every week, the banter between Simon and Paula and Simon and Ryan gets harder and harder to watch. Take, for instance, Ryan's jab at Simon's gal, TV journalist Terri Seymour. While the two men continued their power struggle over who seems more gay, Miss Abdul looked more out-of-it tonight than ever.

Remember how no one got the boot last time, during what Ryan described as charity week? Just in case you missed those shows, tonight provided a roundup whose music and hopeful images sort of reminded me of one of NBC's Olympic fluff featurettes. In quick succession, we were treated to a skinnier Ruuuuben, in a hideous striped tee, asking for donations for poor kids; Carrie Underwood again; Josh Groban chorusing with the kids again; Madonna in Malawi again; Kelly Clarkson again; the "Stayin' Alive" montage again; and Celine Dion singing with Elvis again. At this point, the memory of Ryan's opening statement about "filler" made me want to sling the remote at the TV, right in the corner where his tiny head bobbed. I enjoyed the show last week but enough is enough. Then the remaining season 6 contestants participated in the world's strangest Ford commercial. And Robin Thicke gave a very sexy and sultry performace which saved the show at that point.

Finally, we made it to the evening's raison d'être. But not before Seacrest actually blamed Idol fans for the contestants' elimination. "You did it!" he crowed. "You voted!" Yes, Ryan, yes, we did. Because that is the point of the show. Phil was the first to go, and with all that hey, brother handshaking between him and Ryan, I'd have thought Ryan would have been a tad less abrupt in his buh-bye speech. Still, Phil's ouster was totally fair. I never felt he was one of this season's strongest singers.

Then, after Bon Jovi performed a disappointingly dull song, it was time for the second elimination, which came down to Chris and Blake. In terms of vocal talent — and feel free to disagree with me, fellow fans — I think the two are fundamentally pretty evenly matched. But this week, Blake proved he has the ability to think outside the box and take major risks on stage. Chris joined Phil on the journey home, and though I was disappointed this week in Jordin, the correct two people were given the boot.

Next week I think is disco week with Barry Gibb from the Bee Gees.