Facing the Music

It's sad watching the deterioration of one of my all time favorite shows. The CW is killing this show by forcing them to completely change formats and do one case an episode rather than a season-long mystery. The drama and emotional investment is gone. Even the snappy one-liners are in decline. I'll give last night's episode this much: It was way better than last week's stinking pile of can't-we-all-just-get-along after-school-special crap. And the improvement was thanks in no small part to special guest star Paul Rudd.

The hard-working actor popped up as Desmond Fellows, a "spineless, semi-alcoholic has-been rock star," in the words of Ms. Mars. He used to be rich and famous as one half of My Pretty Pony, that was apparently huge back when stringy long hair for dudes was all the rage. But then his partner died, and now he's doing benefit concerts at little nothing colleges like Hearst. I admit I was predisposed to love Rudd's journey to Neptune from the moment I saw the teaser for this episode, called "Debasement Tapes." But let's hear it for his bull's-eye comic portrayal of a washed-up musician. His delivery of lines like "Plax! Come on, I'm missing Night Court!" were hilarious, with just the right amount of self-important smarm. And Rudd nailed the rock-star-as-wannabe-wild-boy cliché when he declared to a crowd of partygoers, "This is my lifestyle!" while stripping down to go skinny-dipping at the beach. He ended up getting busted, which led to a delightful exchange with Sheriff Mars back at the station about the significance of the Beatles.

Of course, this being Veronica Mars, Dezzie had issues other than just clinging to his former glory — namely, that the vocal tapes recorded by his late bandmate were missing. Without them, he said, he could not perform live. Now, I accept that any mystery in the Mars-iverse will always come with red herrings. But this particular dose of dead ends felt more arbitrary than usual. Who stole the tapes from Desmond's backpack? Was it the groupie waiting for him in his Neptune Grand bed wearing nothing but a leopard-print bra and panties? Nope. Was it that rascally hotel bellhop Jeff Ratner, whom Veronica had previously suspected of being involved in the Dean O'Dell murder? Sorry — thanks for playing. No, Desmond's stuff disappeared simply because he and some other fan of excessive boozing accidentally swapped bags at the airport. Kinda anticlimactic. Anyway, Veronica and Piz drove to L.A., recovered Desmond's luggage, and saved the day — but not until slyly tricking Dezzie into performing an acoustic set and showing him that he didn't need no stinkin' backing vocals. Aww...how life-affirming!

Still, Paul Rudd can sing! In fact, he sang so well that Veronica got all lovey-dovey with Piz at the back of the club. "Piznarski, you're a good guy," she said before slipping her hand into his. This after Ronnie had spent a good three-quarters of the episode awkwardly dancing around the are-we-or-aren't-we following last week's party smooch. And then there was Mac, grappling with a serious good-guy/bad-guy dilemma of her own. In a terrific sequence, the gal pals found themselves comparing their love interests to the cafeteria's menu du jour. In the end, Mac went with edgy nerd Max (fettuccine Alfredo), which meant dumping poor, sweet Bronson, and Veronica opted for milquetoast Piz (eggplant parmigiana). How long she stays with him is anyone's guess, though. Because in case you somehow missed the numerous, unsubtle clues, Logan is back to brooding, and he's mighty jealous of the new couple.

But Logan didn't spend the entire episode fishing for info on PiVe. The industrious Mr. Echolls also enlisted master hacker Mac to help him with a homework assignment: craft a business plan. Being Logan, he opted for a "hot asses" website. Mac ultimately deemed the end product an "assterpiece." When Dick launched into his speech about being an expert on the subject of Logan's project — it provided the best line ever- "Who would you ask for advice about lions — a lion or a gerbil?" he asked, perfectly straight-faced. "By virtue of being a lion, a lion is an expert on lions." Genius!

As for Keith Mars, he kept busy looking into some sort of shady operation going down at the local Sports Haus, after being tipped off by none other than former deputy Leo. Alas, Vinnie Van Lowe was already on the case. Worse, Neptune's doofiest P.I. also decided to run against Keith in the upcoming sheriff's election. Damn that Vinnie! I really didn't pay much attention, I kept changing to Dancing With the Stars. Which is sad, I used to watch every minute of this show.